Up and Down, Like Waves in the Ocean

The last couple days have been absolutely crazy.  I'm at the point where one more bad thing is going to send me over the edge, and I'll break down crying.  But hey, that's part of the college experience.  Part of becoming a teacher.  Oh, and once you are a teacher, you are going to cry for sure.

Today, I was inspired though.  My professor, advisor, program director opened up to my class about something personal and how she overcame it.  I don't believe in coincidences, and I think this story came at the perfect time.  I'm feel pretty low - between school and work - but, after listening to her tell us of this kind of really awful experience and how she triumphed from it....it really hit me in a place that makes it hard to breathe.

See, I've had my fair share of awful events.  They still get to me in multiple ways.  I was assaulted my sophomore year of college at a Stout organized event.  By a friend nonetheless which statistics tell you is the majority of the time.  At the same time, I had been dating someone for a little over a year, and the event brought out his true character.  He was unbalanced, childish, and emotionally abusive.  It happened at the worst time because I needed someone and the one person I would have turned to, did nothing to support me and give me the time that I needed to heal.

Thankfully he is no longer in my life, and I've been able to grow from what happened to me, but there are times when I'm dealing with high stress that it all crashes back in on me and the doubt he placed in my head comes whispering back.  Until just a bit ago when my professor talked to us, I was getting close to a type of down I haven't felt in months.  A type of down that would consume me for a few days, which, obviously is not good timing.

What I'm trying to say is, you never know who needed those kind words, that inspirational speech, the high five.  You never know when someone needed to hear exactly what you had to say.  I'm still feeling unsteady on my feet, but I'm going to be okay.  This too shall pass.  A mantra that is good to live by.  To see someone overcome something that very much was the end of the world, it gave me what I was looking for to keep pushing on no matter what the obstacles and get to the finish line.  The finish line of teaching students about art for the rest of my life and changing their lives, as so many teachers - both art and not - have done for me.